You Cannot Serve God and Money
You can’t have two masters
It’s been far too long since I’ve written a blog so forgive me if this one meanders too much. I’ve been busy, grinding away at this grad school thing, nearly done, all while making sure this new wife of mine is not only happy but loved by me too. Marriage is no joke but needs silliness, date nights, and a bunch of “real talk” sessions to survive crazy seasons.
Surprise, surprise, more folks are leaving the church. As usual, I don’t blame them. At the heart of a lot of this is a wise (if sometimes not holistic) distrust of clergy. Now, per Chuck Degroat’s book When Narcissism Comes to Church, they are less trusted than “ judges, day care providers, police officers (crazy!), pharmacists, medical doctors, grade school teachers, military officers, and nurses.” As that book title notes, one of the biggest reasons for that distrust in narcissistic leaders.
I think we all know a thing or two about narcissism. And could probably list at least five celebrities we know of who likely suffer with this condition.
In When Narcissism Comes to Church, he borrows a term from another writer, Christopher Lash, as his thesis for what’s at the heart of a narcissist, narcissistic communities, and narcissistic systems: “a longing to be freed from longing.”
Oh man, what a phrase. For myself, I’d say I have a longing to be freed from wanting longing all the damn time.
(Wait… maybe I’m mildly narcissistic)
Then again, this too comes face to face with what DeGroat argues is also true about narcissists; they need others to buy into the narcissism. Whether this’ll be taboo to say or not, it’s as if active narcissists need a form of what I’d called passive narcissists, those who buy in to the charisma, the enigma, the intrigue of “the chosen one” to delay their own need to confront the need to be freed from longing.
Simply put, if we want to know who a narcissist, yes, we can safely say Kanye West (bipolar too; tomato, tomahto), Donald Trump, Mark Driscoll, and fill in other famous celebrities I didn’t pick on. But, the other person I see as narcissistic in my mirror?
Me.
In your mirror?
You.
I almost titled this blog “Kierkegaard, am I scheming swindler too?” Why is that? Well, I’ll put the quote here:
The matter is quite simple. The bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. How would I ever get on in the world? Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church’s prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Oh, priceless scholarship, what would we do without you? Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament.
I think Kierkegaard is somehow more resonant than he was then. Many of those narcissists I mentioned before, those in the pulpit and yes, even those in the pews, with all those PhDs, MDivs, and a whole host of other learnedness about the Bible and yet, we are all scheming swindlers. Existing in social structures working as breeding grounds for active and passive narcissism.
It’s all a circle, a BIG circle. And while I’m not saying it’s me and you leaving the Driscoll’s and Osteens and Falwell’s and Hybells and so on without room for blame. Jesus called those shepherds wolves and for good reasons.
But for some reason, the sheep keep running to the wolves. In droves.
Why is that? What is underneath this “longing to be free from longing?”
While I can’t account for all of it, I think a huge part of it is money. Yes, while there can be broke narcissists, they certainly can’t do the same kind of damage to the world that a rich one can.
Back to the OG of existentialism who, as much as the secular postmodern philosophers might tell you, espoused much of his philosophy with Jesus following in mind.
He says we just don’t do what the Bible says. He says that if we did, oof, how scary that would be?
How vulnerable.
How terrifying our awareness of our longing to be freed from longing would become.
For all of my 20s, I’ve been broke by American standards. Filthy rich by most all other standards, especially the global south. I don’t give much money away partially because I don’t have much to give away (which I love to share) and partially because I don’t spend much on others (which I hate to share).
I guess I don’t listen to Jesus as much on this one as I ought to. Trying not to “should” on myself.
Nevertheless, Jesus did say in plain Aramaic translated into plain English, “you can’t serve God and money. Can’t have two masters.”
Money is the god of narcissists and the chief deity of our western world. It’s as if we’ve never known what to do with the guilt of our overly abundant, wealth-obsessed culture that at the altar of “the work of God’s kingdom” for Christians and “the pursuit of who I really am” for secular folks, we indulge in narcissists who claim “here’s what to long for, here’s all the answers to your longing, here’s my path to the good life” all while not requiring us to change a damn thing about our own lives, our own greeds, our own sins.
All these rabbis, the Christian ones I posted earlier but the self-help ones too, whoever they might be and especially those who seem cult-ish, claim to know it all, and are particularly handsome/charismatic/winsome/funny/gaslight-y, all giving you an elixir curing your existential dread around the fact that at the end of the day, when our lives are over, whether you’re an influencer in the western world with a 100k followers or an eastern peasant born, struggling in, and dying in abstract, deep, systemic poverty, God will judge you by what you’ve done. Western metrics of success are actually divine metrics of failure.
I don’t know what I believe about Hell, Heaven, what happens after we die and how God will sort it all out, but, but, BUT… if I were to guess, I’m thinking God will be merciful to the weak and harsh to the strong. I think it’ll be harder for Elon Musk to get to heaven than 90+% of the world who struggle to get enough food on the table. If there’s one healthy fear I have about facing God at the end of my life, it’s when He will ask “what did you about the least of these around you? All those people were actually Me.”
Jesus beat all the Gods, beat greed too, but man, greed has hit our world with some haymakers and definitely built a hell of a stronghold.
#metoo was the world’s way to tackle rampant patriarchal lust. The SPLC, BLM, and ongoing racial reconciling efforts are fighting against systemic prejudice. Silent Spring was written to address our deep and disgraceful care for the world and its natural beauty.
But what’s the chief deity of all those evils? Responsible for all of it, responsible for all bad ever actually?
Greed. Mammon. A love for money.
It’s the root of all evil. No matter what kind of theological jiujitsu or “scheming swindling” we do, greed is the problem. And yes, it’s in me and it’s in you. And additionally yes, it’s the greed of the Musks and the Zuckerburgs and the other absurdly wealthy who deal a whole swath more damage than we will ever do. But the chief god of this age is just that.
My pastor who, it would appear and from what I have observed is continually attempting to fight this, said last night that our spiritual walk is directly related to our connection with money and possessions. I think that seems right. The best things I’ve ever done I did either as career work knowing I wouldn’t take great pay and/or when I gave to those in need. That’s when life was best lived.
When I was at my worst? When I greedily consumed women through porn or when I spent what little money I had on too much beer or too much food or when I consumed knowledge or wisdom and hoarded it, never sharing with others. When I was greedy, I was the worst I can be. When I’ve given, I’ve been the best I can be.
It’s that simple. My True Self desires to give; my False Self desires to hoard.
I’m not sure whether I need to sell all my possessions or give half of my wealth to the poor or reduce my movie collection or drink one less coffee each day.
But if I want to resist narcissism, both in myself and in the system, and if I want to see the kingdom of God at hand, I need to give of myself, not just money but time and wisdom and my mind and my heart.
And trust God that I will get what I need. Not until the point of emotional burnout but definitely to a point where it feels like a sacrifice.
Yet it’s worth it. Because the Bible tells me so.
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.